Something's gotta give (hopefully not my shirt button)

In light of my awesome revelation of me being obese according to the BMI, something had to give. The question is what? I am willing to give up my lacklustre mindset towards food and exercise so that I can gain my dream figure?

Truth be told, even though I know I dont look like this:

I often feel like this:

Though when I look in the mirror I try to convince myself that I'm seeing this:

Truth is, why can't I feel and look better? I can. Just a never ending battle of laziness, in consistency, lack of motivation, and that feeling like that goal is just out of reach makes it difficult. I'm sure many can relate. I've been dealing with my weight since I was 16 years. Thats 10 years.....10!!! So I think somewhere along the line I've convinced myself that I'm not that big and others have said I'm not fat or that there's nothing wrong with me, but I can always count on my mum to burst dem deh bubble.....she a realist and until she stop tell me how 'ya leg big eee!!' I guess I have to battle on. So this week I have been trying. I have been little by little living up to the light I already have on health related matters. For example:
not snacking/eating between meals
not drinking with food
increasing water and vegetables intake
not skipping breakfast
trying not to eat to late or too close to bed time
...to name but a few. I have also given up on certain things such as chocolate (thanks to boo for getting me to break that one) and since then it has really aided with the whole no snacking thing. The plan is to getting good food related habits so I will lose weight and become healthier too, and hopefully if its habitual, I wont revert back to eating foolyness and putting any weight I manage to lose. I think I'm managing alright. I have a substantial breakfast, drink water (though this can be improved) and if I'm really hungry and it isn't meal time yet I'll have a fresh fruit smoothie or a piece of fruit. So eating wise I'm getting there. Mondays dinner was Caesar salad with olives stuff peppers and chicken strips (YUMMY),

Tuesday cos I stayed late I ended up eating a tuna n cheese panini from work canteen, and today's dinner is a veggie stir fry...which is very YUMMY!!

 Hopefully my body will start responding to better food soon :)

Now on to exercise.....I (Monday and Tuesday) was able to wake early and do 30mins of exercise (Zumba). Then I was suppose to walk home after work and then have another Zumba session....however I have not managed this because well work is tiring in itself...Working 9-630 in a busy mentally taxing environment is draining and especially is you volunteer to cover someones shift last minute so you end up doing 12hrs instead of 9 or 10...but I will try...

My health and wifey body depends on it!!!

BMI...(Big Mistake Init)

So hear the joke,

I went to get a check up last week as we do and well I sort of wish I hadnt biggest never in my life have I ever wanted to turn around and use the 'F' word (FAT) but when I saw the lil needle of the scale whiz straight past where I would like to be and end up where I've never been before that is the one word I could think of....what a ting!!

Now after the lady calculated my BMI from my height I had to laugh...in my head of course cos far down...I wernt expecting that. She said my BMI was.... (chicken drumstick roll please) 29!!!


You know what that makes me...OBESE!! Check the chart :(

Come on now that aint even right cos when I think of obese I think of :

And I know I wear glasses but I do not look anything like that. So I have come to the conclusion that BMI aint made for black people lol. I am naturally a solid build chick I'm a size 14 and 5'7 which honestly aint that bad but I admit I am bottom heavy but a so we mek dont it!! But this BMI foolyness doesnt take into account muscle which is heavier than fat and I'm not saying I dont have fat on me but I wouldnt go as far to say I am obese...so I'm upset of course but the good thing thats come out of it is that I have decided to challenge the way I eat and exercise and see whether or not I can make some improvements so I will spend the next few blogs just documenting my progress up down or side ways and hopefully seeing what I get up to will either rebuke or encourage.

But I am aware that I am not known for consistency in regards to these things. Me and diets were never friends. I literally would DieTrying when ever I tried to lose weight but this time will be different because I am not dieting I am reforming :) And taking this one to the Lord in prayer cos bwoi I need extra help fi tackle dat deh numbers dont it!

This shall be fun....

Is whata way me bless so!!

You know, 

I am blessed. Yes there's things that could be better but if you focus on the things you dont have you will never appreciate the things you do have and I am blessed is the conclusion I've come too. 

Had an awesome few days visiting the mama. Had dinner with my aunty, catched up with my bros, and had one of those talks that you can only have with you bestie...even though we live in different areas of (no longer living down the road from each other) and dont attend the same church any more, when we get together its almost like we were never separated in the first place... haven't laughed like that in a long time...beautiful!!!

So now this morning as I said good by to mum as she went to wake I am preparing myself for the day ahead...yes I'm lookin forward to seeing my beautiful boyfriend...its been a while. (9 days is a long time) And so my heart is all nervous like and ting...how that work I dont understand but yeah...I'm excited like a lil school girl whose about to talk to her crush....ahhh true love - and i mean true love not the movie kind. I mean the good stuff, founded on good principles and sustained by a mutual love for Christ and wanting to do His will....so makes the relationship better....I've done the relationships without God and trust me, with God is a million zillion kabillion times better....anywho thats enough for me...oooo might make a post about the weird dream I had cos my subconscious is on some next level of  different lol

Love it :)

Cure for Procrastination

Finally a cure for the one thing that has taken up all my productive hours and chewed them up to a useless pulp...from fb to twitter to blogging...I have seen many a good hour thrown to the social networking lions; and how they tear those hours to pieces.

Its sad actually. Only time I seem to be productive is when I am at work cos well I have to be, but me attempting to utilise my free time to study or do an assignment for work...my word! its a struggle and a half.

So from looking through my days and reminiscing on the many many wasted hours I've come to the conclusion that the only time I do not procrastinate is when I am asleep....yup only time!

So now I have to find away to combine sleep with productivity and then I'll be free from the chains of procrastination forever...who am I kidding?!!

I guess there is no cure...oh well!!

Still attempting (since yesterday) to start my assignment lol...

Time to PUSH (pray until something happens)

Complete and utter waste of calories

So some how again I end up not eating breakfast unless you count a couple digestives that just happened to make its way into my mouth. So anyway, after a long shopping trip at ASDA (walked there btw - trying get my exercise in) me like a plonker decided to find myself in McD's, now I know I shouldnt go there so I try to not eat the burgers and if I can refrain avoid the fries as well but there wraps and delis r really nice...BUT today....what a complete and utter waste of calories...
I dont like food that frustrates me and even when I get over the frustration it better taste nice...but it really didnt! Beside falling apart after every bite or even before I bit it, it just didnt taste all that at all...either my taste buds have upgraded or it was just a nasty sandwich but sure enough I defo wasnt 'lovin' it!'

So now I face the consequences of the calories that I've ingested that wasn't even worth it cos it the journey before it lands on my hips was far from pleasurable...this got me thinking

This is sorta like sin in it...at the point of deciding to go through with it you think it's worth it, but by the end of it you may feel guilt, disgust, low depressed, whatever and all you have is the memory of that decision you made thinking you'd enjoy it but really it wasn't worth the calories...Lord, I dont want to live like that but I guess it's the same mind frame that carries you to eat something you know you won't benefit you that also carries you to do something you know you wont benefit from...

Guess there's a lot of mind renewing that needs to happen over here and well to be honest I welcome the upgrade...who wouldn't?

Marriage...

I find it funny that amongst adventist circles that as soon as you're in a relationship when's the wedding is always the next question and not really how is the spiritual life, how r you overcoming temptations etc.... I'm guilty of saying the same thing but from experience I've learnt first hand the danger of speaking marriage into someone's head prematurely....

Being in a relationship when everyone speak to you marriage and then breaking up before there's even a ring....those people that ask 'when's the wedding' they don't really ask (unless their uber close to you) what happened? But they wait for another guy to come along and then ask again when's the wedding....

Where does this come from? Why are we so marriage happy?

I've learnt that well it's exciting init! But there's so much that needs to be laid down as a firm foundation between the two in the actually relationship before getting in to this 'marry-up already' spirit....

As a woman who does desire to marry, hearing these things can be dangerous and even invoke a spirit of impatience which can really put a strain on the relationship, especially when you realise your broody moment are happening more and more frequently...it's something that needs to be taken to God in prayer or it can really damage a beautiful relationship...

I can honestly say my relationship right now is beautiful and I do not want to spoil with marriage talk so I pray for patience and that when and if God's say its cool I'm going to enjoy being a Mrs, until then, gotta keep a level head on this thing...it ain't easy! But I must enjoy and embrace each stage of the relationship and I honestly do :)

Trying a ting

Hmm,

I never saw myself as a blogger even though I have a lot to say. Mum always said I could chat for England but I guess there's no harm in jumping on this blog wagon and see how I goes.

It's 15:11 in the afternoon and my day feels done though to be honest what can I say I've done with the day. I've finally removed the work I'm suppose to do from my suitcase but it still hasn't migrated to priority as yet...sad times

And yet here's me blogging....what kinda foolishness?! I guess all in all I will always find something else to do but what I'm suppose to do...this is not the way it should be but hey, I'm on annual leave, my brain is entitled to rest right and not have to think on the things I do day in day out??.....but if I'm honest I've probably spent to much time gorging on the bread of idleness today so perhaps I should give the ol' FB the boot and actually do something more constructive....and yet I'm still here....Lord help me to not be here still within the next hour....